Why did the bear cross the road?

23 Sep

A:  To scare the bejeebers out of me when I was riding my bike down Blue Lake Road.

Yesterday, I decided to take advantage of the truly glorious Wisconsin warmth and pedal down Blue Lake Road.  I was just past Sutton Road (heading towards Mercer Lake Road) on the straightaway to the Tomahawk River turn when about 30 to 40 feet in front of me, a huge bear was lumbering across the road.  My natural instincts kicked in and I hit the hand breaks as, if I continued on my current trajectory, Mr. Bear and I would have surely collided.  My tires said a nice SCREECH upon which Mr. Bear turned its mug and looked me directly in the eye.  My heart pounded.  My palms sweated.  I used my remedial math knowledge to determine how quickly I could do a U-turn and figure out if you have a 300 pound bear traveling south at X mph and a bicyclist traveling in the same direction at X mph how many Our Fathers could the bicyclist say before the two bodies intercepted?  I couldn’t figure out the answer so I decided my best bet was to get the ding dong out of there.  As I turned to do a U-turn, Mr. Bear (already well fed for his upcoming hibernation, I presumed) did the same and lumbered back into the woods.  I wished, in a bittersweet moment between adrenaline spurts, that I had enough courage to continue my bike ride but didn’t feel like tempting nature again, less there be cubs also hidden in the woods.

I later recounted this account to my neighbor who has also seen a bear in that exact same area – the pre-Tomahawk straightaway – so for you bear watchers out there, now you know the hot spot!


One Response to “Why did the bear cross the road?”


  1. The River Floweth « Blue Lake Free Press - March 29, 2009

    […] send them sneezing on their way.  (I have not tried this but the next time I’m knee-deep in Bear Alley, I don’t think my mind’s going to concern itself with grinding pepper out of the […]

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